5 Ways to Save on Care Packages (Without Sacrificing Quality!)

Care packages can be expensive. Really expensive. Shipping, even with Priority Boxes is pricey... and then you still need to fill them.  

I will be very honest:  I was pretty bad at staying in a budget while shopping for John's care packages, although I know I didn't spend as much as other people do. Depending on the box and what I sent, I spent between $20-40 on large boxes (not including postage).  That adds up quickly!

It's not that I began the deployment wanting to blow the bank; in fact, I tried very hard to be thrifty (and generally speaking, I really watch my spending). Those darn emotions got in the way, quite a bit. Every time I saw something that I knew John would like-- ooh, organic coffee from the gently shaded side of a mystical mountain in Uganda!-- I wanted to buy it. After all, we weren't able to spend time together and he was in a dangerous, monotonous place far from home-- I was guilty for being at safe and comfy, homesick for John, and worried about him. I

The more I tried, the better got at being cost effective as the months wore on. I was able to buy and ship more for less and I reigned in the exceptionally emotional spending of the first two or three months. I hope you can use these to help maximize your budget (and the goodies for your lucky recipient)! 

1. Learn how to play Tetris.  And then apply those skills to filling your care package to the max. Over the past year, I've become pretty good at being able to jam-- I mean, artfully fit-- a ton of stuff into whatever Priority Box I'm mailing so that I don't have to use too much, if any, packaging material. Remember, Priority Boxes are flat-rate; it makes more sense to try to fit in 25 items in your box than fitting in only 20 items and filling the rest with useless packaging. 

2. Shop after-holiday sales. I know that not everyone has the luxury of time to plan before a deployment, but if you know that one is coming up and will be long, start stocking up on the items that you know you'll be including in packages later.  I shopped after-Christmas, -Valentine's Day, and -Easter sales last year (and saved anywhere between 75-90% off the original price). I put the items away and kept a list of what I had bought so that I knew what I had to work with later.

3. Buy in bulk and then split it up. I found an amazing, amazing sale on wasabi soy almonds a few months ago. (I spent about $25 on merchandise that would have cost $70 regularly.) Naturally, I bought every package. I could lay my hands on. Even though I wanted to (because I know how much John likes them), I didn't send them all at once. Instead, I sent them a little at a time. That way, John always had some of the foods that he really liked and I wasn't tempted to buy more when they weren't on sale.

4. Buy only what you've planned. I did a really poor job of this at the beginning of the deployment. Because I felt so powerless, I ended up buying insane quantities of things that I still don't have use for. I have too much scrapbook paper, stickers, colored tape, and miscellaneous gift items that I (likely) won't use.  I wish I would have bought single sheets of scrapbook paper instead of the tear-out books. I wish I would have also bought stickers as I needed them, rather than binge buying them, just because they were cute. Towards the end of the deployment, I made lists of exactly what I needed for each box, which gave me less room to overbuy and overspend. 

5. Send smaller boxes to supplement the big ones. At the beginning of the deployment, I sent a lot of the large Priority Boxes. John didn't need the stuff I was sending-- it was cutesy and adorable, but it didn't really do anything. A lot of it wasn't food or practical entertainment or staples that he needed (see: basically everything in the Olympics care package). Instead, I was filling the need to make sure that he was taken care of and receiving mail on a regular basis. Looking back, I should have used more of the small Priority Boxes to supplement the weeks when I wasn't sending a giant package. The small boxes still can hold a lot if you pack them well. (I used small Priority Boxes for the Sushi Care Package, Halfway There Care Package, and Honey, I Shrunk the Box Care Package.)

5 Things I'm Glad I Did During Deployment

It is very difficult for me to look at this past year and find good from John's deployment. I'm a very optimistic person, but this deployment has infuriated me for political reasons as well as personal ones. Acknowledging positive outcomes from this year actually feels a little like a betrayal to those feelings and myself. However, when I look back at the last year, there are a lot of things I did that I ended up being really happy about. I collected the top five for you.

I'm glad that during this deployment, I...

1. ...wrote 365 letters to John. Well, okay. I don't have 365 letters written... yet. But I certainly will by the time this deployment is history. I wrote John a letter every day (and on the days that I missed, I wrote make-up letters), starting with the first day he was gone. It's romantic, maybe a little indulgent and goofy, and something we're both going to treasure throughout our lives. If you're going to do this, I'd suggest numbering the envelopes so they can be read in order. It also helps if the letters get lost-- at least one time, one of the letters I sent John had a nice, sunny, half-year vacation in Cuba before finally making it to Afghanistan. 

2. ...liked John's command's Facebook page. This is so simple, but was (and continues to be) so meaningful. John's command mainly posts articles and albums of happenings on base, so it's a great way to get news that would most likely not be reported on anywhere else. Seeing a photo of John show up randomly in my newsfeed (even if it's just part of his ear or the back of his head) gives me butterflies, and has been one of the best randomly occurring surprises in this deployment. I really started missing seeing John as a person with more than just a chest, neck, and head about three months into the deployment. Skype is a miracle of modern technology, but there is something awesome about seeing him standing somewhere, or running a 5K on base, or participating in a ceremony. And, of course, there's the added bonus of sharing the photos on Facebook and being generally obnoxious about how amazing John is.

3. ...connected with others online.
I don't live near John's base, which puts me very far away from large groups of people going through deployment too. I also don't come from a military family, so everything military has been completely new. Especially at the beginning of the deployment, I found it really helpful to connect with other people a few different ways online.

First of all, I started this blog-- and it's been awesome meeting people from all walks of life. It might be a little dorky, but I'm glad that I chronicled the last year this way.

There's also a thriving community of military significant others on Twitter. Many of them choose to be anonymous, but I've gained a lot from the friendships I've forged with people who are not "anons." While some people have found that there's a lot of online "drama," I've found a lot of support and kindness.

Finally, I found a lot wonderful online resources that were very helpful in figuring out what the heck to expect and how other people cope with so much uncertainty. I hesitate to list anyone here for fear of missing a blog (and if I missed you, I am so sorry!), but if you are looking specifically for deployment help, these blogs and websites are fantastic (and their authors are, too):

NextGen MilSpouse (An online magazine that is down-to-earth and covers a wide range of topics relating to military life.)
Dear Deployment
SassBritches (Formerly Deployment Problems and the Military Life)
Hurry Up & Wait
Love From Home
Army Wife Housewife (Formerly Army Wife & Co.)

4. ...bought two 16 GB SD cards. 
Costco had an amazing deal on SD cards a week or so after John deployed. I bought two and used them to videotape things that I know John wanted to see--  the Blue Band's pregame and halftimes, the reception of one of his best friend's weddings, driving through his hometown, a thunderstorm, and a lot of dorky commentary by yours truly. You get the idea. I sent it to him at the halfway mark and he said he watched the entire card in one sitting. Do this. You will not regret it.

5. ...checked off items on my 100 in 365 list . Most likely, I won't get through my entire list by the time that August rolls around, but I've done an awful lot on it. There's just something about checking things off a list that makes things more manageable and more exciting. (I know, I know: I'm a geek.)

Check on my on-going What I Learned From Deployment series:

• The Best Five Things People Said During Deployment
• Five Things Better Left Unsaid During Deployment

5 Things Better Left Unsaid During Deployment

Over the past year, I've fielded a lot of questions and comments from people when they find out that John is deployed to Afghanistan. As with my previous post ("The Five Best Things People Said During Deployment) I've found that these questions and comments almost always fall into the same categories.

Before you begin reading, let me say without hesitation, that these less-than-helpful comments always come from acquaintances and people who I'm just meeting for the first or second time. I'm not sure what it is about meeting someone that makes people say these things-- I don't think it is malice or any ill-intent. I think people are just unsure of what to say. Let me also note that these kinds of comments are probably only 5% (if that) of all of the conversations I've had surrounding John, his deployment, and the military, and that I am so grateful for all of the kindness that has been shown to John and me over the past year.

I'm also not offering these to ridicule anyone and I'm not writing this with an ounce of anger, frustration, or hurt. I'm simply offering the examples from my life in case you're not sure what's okay or not to say to someone dealing with deployment. This is my take.

(If you want to know what to say to someone who is dealing with deployment, check out my very happy, very optimistic post, "The Five Best Things People Said During Deployment.")

Category 1, Political Commentary and Assumptions: "We shouldn't be pulling out of Afghanistan." When people find out I'm an inner city school teacher, they often opine about what is right/wrong, good/bad, efficient/sloppy about public education, so I'm used to unsolicited political commentary and assumptions based on what I do. However, when I began dating John, and then when he deployed, a whole new set of  political questions and assumptions began cropping up.

I know that sounds ridiculous since most of this blog is about his deployment, but honestly, his role in the military is just a small part of who he is and who we are together. It always throws me off that, when people hear that John's deployed, they often feel the need to discuss politics with me. What's worse, many people feel the need to either educate me ("The military's budget takes up blah, blah, blah.") or assume that my opinion-- especially when it is conservative-- is their opinion. That has made for some fairly uncomfortable moments. I don't want to hear people railing either about how pro-war, pro-military they are or about how wrong the war in Afghanistan is. Talking politics, especially about Afghanistan, doesn't really get me anywhere-- it doesn't bring John home any faster and it doesn't make him any safer. .

Category 2, Timeline: "This year is going to go by so quickly for you."  Any statement about how fast time is going to fly is well-intentioned, and I completely understand it. It's a kind sentiment. But time does not seem to go by quickly when you're waiting and worrying about someone who is 7,000 miles away. It just doesn't. Waiting through deployment is different that waiting for someone who has gone on an extended business trip, has an internship, or is abroad for education. (Before people bristle at this, I'm not saying it's better or worse. It's just different.) This has been the longest year of my life-- even longer than my first year of teaching in Baltimore, and that year was a doozy. I would give anything for it to have flown by, but now, I am just tired and I desperately want it to be over. (Exception: People who have been through a deployment or are currently going through a deployment. They've been there, done that, and know exactly what it's like.)

Category 3, Romantic Advice: "I don't know how I'd let my fiance go over there with all of those people away from their spouses. You'd better watch out." Yes, someone actually said that to me... in a professional meeting... in front of my colleagues. While that was the most blatant, pointed statement anyone has directed at me during this deployment, other people have asked me what I would do if John left me or cheated on me, or if I had ever thought about cheating on him. Let me make it very clear: I have complete faith and trust in John, his judgment, and his morals. I have never worried that he would cheat on me, so the comments from acquaintances don't shake our relationship-- more than anything, they just make me seethe. And even if I was worried about our relationship, that's between the two of us. It's certainly not up for discussion with anyone else.


Category 4, Questions I Can't (or Don't Want to) Answer: "Does he have a good chance of coming back?" People have a morbid fascination with war, and I've been asked various iterations of this question. I do not know what I would do if John died, and I'm definitely not going to discuss it with anyone. I also don't know how many times his base has been hit with mortar fire or how "safe" it actually is. Most of the things that people ask in this category, I just don't want to think about and have spent most of the year trying hard not to dwell on. Please don't make me think about those things-- Lord knows I've thought about them without anyone else's nudging more than enough this year.

Category 5, Military Stuff: "So how does homecoming [or other military procedure] work?" This category isn't annoying or upsetting at all, it's just one that I have so very limited knowledge about, I have little to say. (And usually, if I know something, it either is subject to change or can't be divulged due to OPSEC.) It is really nice when people want to know what's going to happen next during the deployment, but seeing as this is my first one, I'm just about as clueless as they come. I also am not 100%-sure how PCS-ing will work, I can't remember the names of the awards and medals John's received over there, and I'm really unsure about anything having to do with the chains of command . Also, please don't ask me what John's pay grade is or how it works. Usually this is a precursor to a discussion about how much (or how little) people in the military are paid (see Category 1, Political Commentary and Assumptions.).  I have no problem trying to answer the questions you have about the military, but if you want information that isn't vague and actually might be correct, you should probably ask someone else about that stuff.

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